The Chilcot Inquiry has recalled former Prime Minister Tony Blair after realising that he put them all to sleep the last time.
It has emerged that Tony Blair sang a lullaby and spiked the inquiry's water with warm milk with a drop of honey when he last appeared before the Iraq Inquiry. It took several weeks for Sir Chilcot to finally realise that they had been played from the start by the £10,000 per word statesman.
Realising the scam, Chilcot ordered Blair back and personally removed his guitar, beehive and cow. During the removal of these items from Mr Blair's various wrinkly hiding places, Chilcot was heard to say "Don't tell me you need these for good luck - you won't fool me again!"
Following his evidence, members of the inquiry had only slightly lost the will to live rather than fallen asleep in compromising positions as they did at TB's last appearance.
David Cameron was forced to fire his Communications Bitch to get something more exciting on the TV. When Mr Blair was asked about his motivations for war, he subtly wrote "for a laugh" on a pad then mumbled for three hours before forgetting that he wasn't being paid and speeding up.
The Government's new head of Blair Libel - a local GP/millionaire - said:
"This just goes to show how much more exciting having David Cameron is for politics in this country. There's no chance of falling asleep when David's around - unless you want to get felt up and have your wallet stolen. David and George and that other one don't need to avoid questions by boring people to a taxpayer-funded nap - they have mastered the art of Tory Bullshit."
The inquiry continues.
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