Leatherette tart Gail Sheridan will be running against notorious squirrel George Galloway for a seat in the Scottish Parliament, it has emerged.
Sheridan and Galloway are to literally lock horns over the highly sought shithole constituencies of Glasgow, prompting many locals to piss themselves at the thought of media interest in their bigotry and ignorance.
"I used to just vote for the whitest guy and that would be that," said one local, "but now with all this press interest I'll have to come up with less racist reasons for voting the way I do. It's a breach of my democratic right to hate those fucking wogs."
A political archaeologist with inside knowledge of Gail Sheridan (ew) was quoted as saying:
"Gail is a fugly old piece of dried up bigotry - that much is true. However, she did manage to convince herself that her own husband wasn't shagging everything that moved then telling his friends and mistresses about it. Either that or she was lying when she said she stood by him - and we can only assume that she didn't learn how to lie from Tommy."
"Galloway and Sheridan are good friends, having successfully orchestrated a cunning plan to rid themselves of TS. Sadly there is too much stock imagery of Galloway on Big Brother to win, and Sheridan herself has a mouth like a wheelie bin lid."
The national press looks forward to commentating on their respective campaigns - as long as nothing is happening with the UK Parliament, the European Parliament, The Welsh Assembly or some pet parrot that calls 999.
No comments:
Post a Comment