Have I got your attention? Good. If you're still reading, you're probably not Scottish and can therefore understand the funny shaped thingies on your screen called "words"
Apparently - and I'm summing up here - William Wallace had a letter, and Scottish folk think the English have it but England says it's just a copy but of course Scottish folk are saying "nuh uh it's the real thing my dad says so and he's a scientist!"
This is just another reason why Scotland is an embarrassment and why everything is completely pointless about everything about everything about that...shit...thing...(you get what I mean).
In no particular order - the reasons why Scottish people suck ass:
1. The reason I just said (the Wallace letter thing)
2. Reporting Scotland which just reports on things we've already heard of but focuses in on the closest thing to Scottish in the story. E.g. 1,000 people die somewhere in the world. You see it on the news. Cue Reporting Scotland. "One of those killed was in Scotland once and liked it - let's go to our reporter outside a shithole council house in Fife to talk to illiterate scum".
3. "The Scottish Government" - now who's fucking idea was that? (I know - the fat bastard). So we have Indian Restaurants. They are called Indian Restaurants. In India, however, they would be called, simply, restaurants. We don't go on about the "British" Government - do we? Scotland is constantly laughed at for having such a stupidly named Executive. Oh and yes - Executive was a way cooler thing - remember the fancy crest and all that? It sounded awesome. Now we have a shitty saltire and the words "Scottish Government" on everything. ARGH!
4. The Accent. Honestly - a majority of Scottish people must be gay because the accent is just unbelievable. Where do people learn how to speak like this? Watch River City or Gary Tank Commander and you'll understand how weird it is. You'd hear and see better things in a communal latrine.
5. Neds. Not the movie - love the movie - but neds in general. I particularly hate the neds who don't think they are neds. They just wear the shit, speak like a ned and jake about like...well...a ned. FUCKING PRICKING DICKING FUC- anyway.
I'll no doubt have more reasons. Actually I do but the anger has gotten to me so I'll calm down now...calm.........calm
Peace out fuckers x
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